Test of New Spanker Machine

Two days ago, the New Spanker Machine with the external controller arrived and I tested it right away. My test result: The external controller works perfectly well as promised.

The controller has to be plugged into the mains via 12 V Adapter as with the old KER. A second cable connects the controller with Spanker Machine. The controller is switched on and off with a separate touch switch. The three features (Continuous running, random operation, timer setting) should be selected before touching the on/off switch. If once in operation you use the on/off switch for stop and go. Assuming you are presenting your bottom laying prone on a bed or bench, you don’t have to get up anymore except if you want to change the power setting.

Naturally – if you get new capabilities of any machine – you think about additional features. My wish would be a fourth feature: slowing down the beater. Presently we get about 40 spanks per minute. If we use the timer selector additionally as a selector for various speeds 10/20/30/40 beats per minute, I would be quite happy.

Ok, let’s be reasonable! J  The new controller is a great improvement of Spanker Machine. Having it running continuously was on the wish list of all users who hated the 5 minutes limit. The random feature is the icing on the cake, a real gift for all those who want to experience the closest they will come with a machine to the feeling of an OTK session.

Along with the new Spanker Machine comes a manual that contains a few important warnings:

•       Don’t use implements heavier than 120 g. The machine won’t be damaged, but it will lose efficiency with reduced acceleration.

•           Don’t let the beater routinely hit the stopper with full force first.  The implement must hit your BOTTOM FIRST. If you let it hit the stopper first, the housing may get damaged eventually.

•           NEW: Don’t let Spanker Machine run on “Continuous” with power settings higher than 7.

I am going to ask the vendor for advice how to proceed if somebody wants a real thrashing on “continuous”. Perhaps he/she should use the random feature. Due to the relatively frequent interruptions, it may be allowed to use random with strength settings higher than 7.

I firmly believe that being independent from technicalities we may enjoy sessions with this improved machine much more than before.

As I have mentioned before, you can use the controller with the old KER-3000, if you switch the built in timer on and use strong tape to stop the timer from running down. Then the external controller takes over and bypasses the built in controls.

 

New Spanker Machine with external timer is available

I think most of the users of Spanker Machine hate the moment, when they are just about starting their "brain movie", the timer of the machine shuts it off. Most of us want to control the running time of Spanker Machine ourselves.

This most wanted new feature has been realized this week. An external controller is on the market and can be purchased immediately External Controller. 

This new controller gets the current for the machine from the net with the transformer you have already with your present KER 3000. The external controller comes with a second line to be plugged into the machine. The controller replaces the former built in timer unit as you can see on the picture.

The nice part of the new offer is the benus for owners of  KER 3000: You can buy the controller separately and use it with your present machine. It works like a bypass. You set the timer to 5 min and tape it to the machine housing so that the timer cannot run backwards. Up till now, that trick was possible of course, yet it was not exactly a professional solution. 

There are 4 functions to be selected: The On/off  selector, a selector setting fixed timer running time, continuous running or random running. That last feature comes very close to the unseen spanker who spanks you without you knowing when it's coming, a very neat feature. 

That leaves us with just one big wish: moving Spanker Machine up and down your bottom. Of course that means a quantum jump in functionality.

A spanko friend has built a table with a moving top. I have mounted my KER to that table and can enjoy the feeling of the implements hitting my bottom on various parts without me doing anything. Particularly interesting is the feeling of the hits onto the spank spots as compared to those onto the meaty parts. FOGOKER has no capacities to built something like this for the market. However, the inventor of the table possibly could make a list with all parts and their measurements including an instructions sheet. People with "two right hands" can build it, I am sure of that. What I don't know is the know how necessary for programming the movemement controller of the motor.

I have ordered a new KER 3000 right away and am looking forward to the delivery. My first experiences with continuous and random spankings will be reported here.

An important warning for users of Spanker Machine

You all know that too much weight of the implements used will slow down the beater. Spanker Machine is spring driven; the spring's accelleration has a limit and will be less effective if the implement’s weight exceeds 100 g. Incidentally that also applies to very long toys. Shorter and stiffer ones are more effective.

High weight of a toy does not damage the Machine. It makes the machine less efficient. Nevertheless, implements should be light weight and most of them are.

However, another misuse might break the beater’s spring.

You will notice a rubber pad at the end of the beater's path slot stopping the beater’s spring like a “brick wall” – with a loud bang. The pad is thought to stop the beater if necessary but not constantly. The constant abrupt stop by the pad will cause the spring to break eventually.

It is your bottom which should slow down the beater to a stop before it will rest on the rubber pad. The cushions of your buttocks will not stop the beater abruptly but gently even if you are not registering that fast deceleration. Your behind receiving the full impact of the implement’s kinetic energy will be the benefitiary.  You should think of two very important, interacting limitations:

1.       Position you bottom so that the beater will not hit the rubber stopper first. If you are laying on your stomach, make use of a bolster to elevate your rear. If you are standing and bent forward at any angle, you should be standing slightly behind Spanker Machine. Your bottom must be first to be hit, not the rubber pad on the machine.

2.       As important as the position of your bottom are the toys you are using. Forget about everything flexible like whips, floggers, martinets, belts, whippy canes etc. They are too flexible. Their floppy ends will bend out of the beater’s path, the hard part of the beater will hit the pad with a “bang” and only then you will feel the business end of the leather toy on your bottom. That happens very fast, but you will hear the bang of the impact very clearly. You should test your implements. In principle you should use wood implements or stiff Lexan toys. Canes should be at least 6mm non peeled and not very long; many are very flexible, too.

If you listen a few times to the sequence of sounds, you will easily differentiate between the sounds of winding the spring, release of the spring and the toy either hitting your bottom and then the rubber pad, or the beater hitting the rubber pad first and then your bottom. Try to avoid the latter

 

 

Secure mounting of toys to Spanker Machine

 

 I wish all of my readers a very prosperous 2023 in good health!

 

It has been a while since posting my last communication on the use of Spanker Machine. The last major fix to Spanker Machine was made from the producers choosing harder material for the half-moon couplers. I have not experienced a single problem with these since.

Another annoying problem however is the less than ideal mounting platform provided for toys. A difficult problem because toys come with grips of varying sizes and shapes. Particularly implements with slim handles such as canes which do not have same sort of knob or other thickness at the end of the grip are hard to mount. Without a kind of increasing thickness at its end, the implement will slip out of its mount and fly through the room because of the centrifugal forces acting on them. Recently, I hit on a way for a secure fix of any toy using both the flat bottom platform and the corresponding flat top piece coming with Spanker Machine.

 

Black Top piece with screw

You see the screw sticking out of the black plate. I have drilled a hole through the middle of the plate. It is actually in the exact middle and 1,2 mm away from the small end of the plate. The hole should be wide enough for a thin screw or nail to pass through. The screw I am using is 3 cm in length.

In the present example toy, the implement (loop) has a grip with an integrated hole already. Otherwise drill one yourself through the grip. It should be 1,2 mm from the end at least.

 

A small hole at the end of the handle

In the bottom plate you see a rectangular deepening. If you stick a nail or screw through the top plate hole, the hole in the grip of the toy and right into the deepening of the bottom plate, the screw or nail will hold the implement between top plate and bottom plate. The top plate with the toy is held securely by the two screws in sticking out of the bottom plate.

 See the rectangle hole

The only additional thing you have to do is drilling a hole into the toy if there isn’t any, and you have a solid fix for any implement. It cannot slip out of its mount anymore.

 

                                                       See the complete mount 

That leaves us with a final problem, the toy sagging downward within the mount following gravity.

 

Foto of the loop sagging

You can buy any amount of special add-ons replacing the flat top plate. They all must have two holes for the screws of the mounting platform and will help holding an implement to a degree.

 

You can buy half moons for each toy, but that is too costly

But a firm hold in a straight position will only be possible with toys that have a fairly thick grip. Particularly canes, crops and the likes without a thick grip are difficult to be held straight in place easily.

There are two possible solutions:

·    Purchase a conical wooden grip in a household ware shop. Drill a hole into the end and glue your cane into it. No slip anymore and no sagging when fixed with one of the half moon pieces.

 Handles like that can be bought

  

·   Buy a tape for tennis racket grips. They come as sticky bands to be wound around the handle for better grip. They will do perfectly for any slim toy. However to buy one for each cane etc. will cost you.

I am using pieces of leather to stuff into the free space between lower screw of the toy holder and the grip of the toy. It usually is tight enough to prevent the implement to follow gravity J.

8-   

   Birds view of leather roll stuffed into free space

 

It is essential to tighten the “wings screw” on the side pointing to the floor much more down than the “wings screw” pointing upward. That way, the implement is at least partly prevented from sagging in its mount. The piece of leather or any other stuffing into the gap between screw and implement will keep it straight and firmly in place.